What Luzifer has to tell you about Texan Practical Philosophy: herds, bulls and horses, dogs and women, guns and booze, brawls and fences and what you can learn from them ... www.luzifer.at/satire/texas.html

Texan Words of Wisdom
The Cowboys' Practical Philosophy

English There are three kinds of men -- The ones that learns by readin', the few who learns by observation, and the rest of 'em just have to piss on the electric fence for themselves.. Deutsch Es gibt drei Arten Männer: einige lernen durch Lesen, einige wenige durch Beobachtung, und der Rest muss eben selbst gegen den Elektrozaun pinkeln ...
Never squat with yer spurs on. Hock Dich nicht hin, wenn Du Sporen trägst.
Always drink upstream from the herd. Trink immer flussaufwärts von der Herde.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every once in a while to make sure it's still thar. Wenn Du vor der Herde reitest, schau ab und zu zurück, ob sie noch da ist.
Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement. Richtige Entscheidungen beruhen auf Erfahrung - und die meiste davon bekommt man durch falsche Entscheidungen.
Don't kick a cowchip on a hot day. Verpasse an einem heißen Tag nie einem Kuhfladen einen Tritt.
What ever they told you -- you are naked if you're wearin' nothin' but a hat. Was immer man dir beigebracht hat: Du bist nackt, wenn du nichts als einen Hut trägst.
Most men that can count to three know that fights are won by men who can't count to three -- or just don't. Jeder Mann, der bis drei zählen kann, weiß, dass Schlägereien meist von Männern gewonnen werden, die nicht bis drei zählen können - oder es einfach nicht tun.
Don't slap a man who's chewin' tobacco. Gib nie einem Mann eine Ohrfeige, der gerade Tabak kaut.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a person or critter, don't be surprised if they learn the lesson. Wenn Du Mensch oder Tier eine Lektion in Gemeinheit erteilst, sei nicht überrascht, wenn sie sie lernen.
If you find yerself in a hole, the first thing to do is quit diggin'. Wenn Du in einem Loch steckst, ist das erste, was du tun sollst, aufhören zu graben.
When you are throwin' yer weight around, be prepared for someone to throw it around for you. Wenn Du Dein ganzes Gewicht in die Waagschale wirfst, rechne damit, dass jemand das für dich tut: dich herumwerfen nämlich.
Even on the tallest horse you're sittin' on yer butt. Auch auf dem größten Pferd sitzt du auf deinem Hintern.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk 'em and hope they panic and give in. Du kannst niemand dazu bringen dich zu lieben. Aber du kannst jemandem so nachsteigen, daß er in Panik gerät und aufgibt.
There's three theories to arguin' with a woman -- first one's bullshit, second one stinks, and third one don't work. Es gibt drei Theorien über das Streiten mit Frauen: die erste ist Scheiße, die zweite dämlich und die dritte funktioniert nicht.
Needin' one day to ride around yer ranch don't meach you're rich -- you oughta buy a better horse. Wenn du einen Tag brauchst, um um deine Ranch zu reiten, heißt das nicht, dass du reich bist. Kauf dir lieber ein besseres Pferd.
If you think you're hot shit, just try orderin' someone else's dog around. Wenn Du glaubst Du hast 'nen Plan, versuch mal den Hund eines anderen herumzukommandieren.
Never ever miss a good chance to shut up. Verpasse nie eine gute Gelegenheit das Maul zu halten.

You're welcome, pardner, if you think you can add a point. YEEEEEEEEE-HAW!

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Last Update: 10. Februar 2001, 09.00 Uhr
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